Job 1 – Diet 0

Work kicked my butt today. Survived on a bagel, baby carrots, sugar snap peas, hummus and Triscuits until lunchtime. My stomach was so unhappy today I’m not sure what I did to it.

I have an allergy to avacados that causes me intense stomach pain and cramping that feels like back spasms, followed by vomiting and generally 24 hours laying on the bathroom floor crying. Because of this reaction, I avoid avacados at all cost. Something I ate today gave me about 50% of those symptoms, the stomach pain and back spasm like cramps. Now I’m left to wonder if I’m developing a new allergy. Why couldn’t I be allergic to junk food? Seriously.

Anyway, my run didn’t happen because I failed to realize that this late in August it’s completely pitch black outside at 5:30am. Running in the dark for me, normally no big thing, running in the dark after my neighbor shot a cougar on his back deck and spotted another last week, whole different story. Although I missed my run, I didn’t waste my Vega Sport in Berry flavor. Contrary to the reviews, I did not find the Berry flavor to be disgusting and artificial. The worst part of the whole thing was the texture and the chalky taste. Maybe tomorrow if the weather stays un-rainy I will get to test it out post run.

Fell into the lazy again for supper. Broke out the Kimchi noodles. Strangely the less healthy the food was today the better I felt.

Second most epic fail of the day was lunch which was a very dried out PB&J sandwich.

Wow, I really have to start trying harder. I feel like if I just had a week off from work I could get organized and prepare and freeze some meals. I know, though, if I had a week off, what would happen would be yard work, finishing tiling the front entryway and going to pick up the two colts I bought 3 months ago and starting to halterbreak them. In the middle of that, I’m sure no less than 3 people would phone me with an emergency “Help I broke my computer!” call.

Overscheduled? Hell yes. How do I get this to work without a personal chef?


Waiter, I’ll Have a Jug of Chalk With That Please


So the reviews on Amazon said this stuff tastes vile and is so gritty that it’s best to presoak it. Well, here goes the soak. I have decided at $64 a can, I will be more motivated to get up and run tomorrow to keep from wasting a scoop.

Why do I need it? Last two months of weight loss it has become evident that I am not replacing appropriate amounts of protien for the amount I like to exercise. I have lost a lot of muscle off my arms and my legs it seems. Time to put it back on. I have had significant results with protien powder in the past, we will see how this goes. Now to bed. 5:30 is not far off.

Declared Lazy Day

Yes, lazy day already. While shopping yesterday I noticed some Vegan offerings in the frozen foods section I had not seen before. One is a quinoa and veggie dish, the other has rice. Tried to google these products to share with you but came up empty handed.

I was all pumped to try making gnochi out of my acorn squash I bought yesterday and pairing it with a mushroom soup made creamy with rice milk and cashews but then I got a text message from my mother telling me one of my brother’s best friends had passed away. So not really in the mood to cook tonight.

Today I’ve also started back with the calorie counting using the My Fitness Pal app on my Blackberry. This comes about sooner than planned because of a step on the scale this morning that confirmed I have gained back 4 pounds since the end of my vacation. I would blame meat and cheese but I think the blame can be shared by Coca Cola, coffee with sugar and eating entire tubs of hummus in one sitting. And we mustn’t forget the rum and the wine either.

I have been a very bad girl. No excuses.

How Big Are Vegetables On Your Planet?

So. Tonight’s attempt was Roasted Mediterranean Vegetables with Rice Noodles. I managed to find everything in the recipe at No Frills without too much hunting. What I required was several large vegetables that were merely quartered and put in a roasting pan for 30 to 40 minutes. The recipe was supposed to serve 4. I guess that recipe yield only applies when using non mutant vegetables on roids. Following it to the letter, I filled my mother’s largest roasting pan absolutely over the brim. Now what to do with the leftovers.

This was also my first experience with eggplant and I’m pretty sure this one wasn’t top quality. Mushy and brownish inside can’t be right can it? My store bought white onions, of which I needed two, absolutely refused to cook to a tender state and very much ruined the texture of the whole thing.
I have soldiered through and cleaned my plate. I think I will skip the leftovers tomorrow and try something new. Without brown eggplant.

I discovered an acorn squash hiding amongst the random produce this afternoon. I’m not quite sure what that is or how to eat it, but I’ve seen it in this cookbook more than once. I think I just bought it because I couldn’t believe I found it. That’s an adventure for tomorrow.

Next up, toasted garlic hummus and tomato sandwich for breakfast.

Day 2 – The Garlic Debacle

Brief update, now that I am Blackberry posting enabled. Went to No Frills and composed myself a workday snack survival pack. After my over garlicking of the night before with the potato leek soup I had decided the fumes coming out of my pores did not need a garlic booster. So what did I buy? Cracked pepper and olive oil Triscuits, sugar snap peas, baby carrots, nectarines and supposedly NOT garlic hummus. Cut to right now, the Triscuits and the hummus – SUPER garlic infused. The vampires are heading for the hills. The only thing saving me from being ridiculed is the fact that my boss is in the next office over, stuck on a conference call with a wicked case of rotten egg farts.

I hope I still have friends at the end of the day.

August 14, 2011 – Day 1

Well, first off, welcome to my blog. I’m quite positive that anyone who might find this blog won’t do so until it’s been up here a few weeks or even a few months, so that gives me a bit of time to ramble. Follow along if you dare.

My name is Christine, that’s all you’re getting for now, you couldn’t pronounce my last name anyway. I live in a very small town in Alberta, Canada on my family’s cattle farm. About two months ago after struggling unsuccessfully to lose weight before I left on a two week California vacation I made the decision to go temporarily vegan and see if that would be the shock my body finally needed to drop the 25 pounds I’d been collecting for the last 7 years or so. In the end, I fell into some bad habits but the experiment did end with the removal of 15 extra pounds from my ass and the descent from size 5 jeans to size 2. All bets were off during my vacation and I’ve been back to meat and cheese since. Imagine my surprise to find myself two weeks post vacation ready to jump back on the vegan wagon on a more permanent basis.

Let me explain a wee bit more. I am not opposed to the consumption of meat or products that come from animals. I would be an incredible hypocrite having grown up on a farm if I suddenly abandoned that which has been my family’s livelihood for 60 years or so and called it inhumane. I am not a fan of animal cruelty in general and yet I also respect the laws of nature and what it means to be the link at the very top of the food chain. Animals eat animals, it’s just a fact. We also can survive solely on other things if need be, or in the case of humans, if we so choose. I am so choosing.

This sort of announcement made in front of a group of meat eating family and friends was not one to be made unprepared. I was accused of trying to starve myself, trying to convert others, being a hippie, being unpatriotic, causing my family undue pain and also of shooting Bambi’s mother. I kid you not, it really was that volatile. It didn’t seem to matter that I also revealed to everyone that I would be preparing all my own meals, or that I would still cook their regular meals for them, somehow no matter what I said it was clear that evil had taken over my body.

I expect the conversation goes similarly for most people who go vegan or vegetarian no matter what their motivation may be, this blog is not so much about coming out as a non-meat eater as it is about trying to do it in a small podunk town with limited sources of food items. I invite you all to join me on my quest to find a way to make this lifestyle work in a place so far off the grid that half the recipes in 95% of the vegan cookbooks on the market call for stuff that is so unavailable here that no one in town even knows what the hell it is. Oh yes my friends, this will be a challenge, even more so if I am able to adhere to the terms I will spell out in the next paragraph.

And those terms are: Limited soy, no tofu and under no circumstances imitation vegan meat which, no matter what it says in the ingredients list, I consider to be Frankenfood. If it’s not actually meat, I really don’t want to know how you got it to taste that much like dead animal, I feel some challenges should just be off limits. Fake cheese is out too. I ate a block and a half of that crap before I left on vacation and it’s just not right. So if you’re in the same situation as me, feel free to follow along and see how long it takes me to fail at this completely, or perhaps succeed against all odds?
I will start you off with a summary of today, which was not completely vegan and not completely successful:

Breakfast consisted of a toasted tomato sandwich, an apple, a cup of decaf coffee with soy creamer and two cubes of sugar. Not an ideal breakfast but I’m short on ingredients today. I would rather not eat margarine at all but it was necessary to soften up the toast. The coffee I’d like to rid myself of completely because of the soy creamer and sugar, but my Keurig gives me the sad eyes when I neglect it and so I am guilted into drinking coffee by an inanimate object.

Morning snack, or as the hobbits call it, second breakfast, was a bit more dicey. Two more pieces of toast covered in mustard and Red Hot, chased with a half a bag of seasoned Spitz. And um, what to say about this? No I’m not pregnant but I’m sure PMS is at least partially responsible for that mess and what came after.

Lunch? What’s that? Skipped that completely cause I didn’t want to get off the couch. I guess I will call lunch the bowl of Kimchi noodles I had at 3pm. While scouring the ingredients I found no violations to my rules that were bad enough to warrant me NOT eating them. No major amounts of animal products at least.

Supper is the one I most want to share with you because it is one of my favorite recipes. Creamy Vegan Potato Leek soup. The recipe can be found here and I made it with one little modification THAT RUINED THE WHOLE BLOODY VEGAN IDEA! My stupid little store has never apparently found the need to ever order vegetable stock, not one time ever. They do however have Knorr onion soup mix. I thought, hey, more onions, no bad there. Well after adding it to the recipe I start reading the ingredients to find that it contains beef fat! What! AHHHHHHH! Thankfully I’m not overly concerned about the cow that lost it’s life to make my package of soup mix but still, bit pissed that I hadn’t noticed that before. And I must be getting old and losing my eyesight cause I swear the first time I read that package there were no offensive ingredients. My intentions were good I guess.

So, that was day one. Tomorrow I am attempting to make some food from The Vegan Cook’s Bible by Pat Crocker (The only Bible I own, I’m an Atheist too! Wouldn’t you just love to kick my ass?) if I can manage to find a recipe where I can purchase all the ingredients. The battle plan is to make a bunch of meals ahead of time and freeze the extra portions so I am less inclined to just eat a bag of corn tortilla chips when I get home from work and call er good. Oh wait, I did have lunch, I forgot I emptied that bag of corn tortilla chips. Shit!

Follow along if you wish. Contribute some ideas, I need all the help I can get, I will update daily in much shorter form I promise. I wish me luck and you as well if you are trying a similar journey. Thanks for joining me and remember this, when all else fails, Oreo cookies are completely vegan.